05/03/2005
"Making Your Mind Up"
entry posted by Inquisitor at 18:40
(permalink).
categories: Idiots
, Misc
, Music
, TV
I'm watching BBC's reality-TV style Eurovision candidate show, Making Your Mind Up, named after by far Britain's least subtle entry to the ESC. Good things: Terry Wogan (you've got to love Wogan) and Jonathan Ross, who is slagging off almost everything without care for the consequences. Bad things: everything else, especially Gina G (who was crap the first time) and Jordan/Katie Price, who really shouldn't be doing this.
Song 1: Javine, ex out of Pop Rivals (kicked out of Girls Aloud, controversially, in the knockout stages). Sounds like last year's Eurovision winner, so quite frankly I'm all for it; Britain needs a chance. Popjustice are gunning for Javine and I may well end up going with them; you can vote online (from 6:35pm), tee hee.
Song 2: Tricolore's "Brand New Day" (a G4-ish 'popera' hybrid) has almost certainly the worst Eurovision candidate lyric for years:
If we could see the world through the eyes of a child
> We'd see
the dawn of a brand new day
Jonathan Ross is right about this one - as a ripoff of the Lion King music - so of course is getting pasted by the audience. Hmm.
Song 3: Gina G. Flashback to the music. Rewind to 1996. Generic Pop Song with nothing adventurous going on at all. So of course it will do well.
Now they're going around Britain a la the real ESC to show televote verdicts. I like Eurovision. I'm not sure I like this, though...
Song 4: Another ex-reality TV 'star', Andy Scott-Lee, relative to Z-list celebrity Lisa. The problem with this song is basically that it's a Westlife song, and there's nothing I hate more. It's a truly horrible one too.
Song 5: "Jordan, aka Katie Price, or the other way round." Why exactly is a six months pregnant, ex-Page 3 model, I'm A Non-Entity, Get Me Into Here! 'star' doing entering a contest which she probably won't be able to fly to? Surely she wouldn't be sick enough to get an early Caesarean in order to go out there? Worse, the song's awful - it comes from the same Generic Pop Song place as the Gina G song, although is slightly catchier and much worse produced. Jonathan Ross is claiming it's the best song, but this may be just because her dancers rip off Fischerspooner's one-step clothes removal technique (she doesn't, fortunately.)
To vote, send an email to eurovision@bbc.co.uk with the heading and text reading 'SONG 1', 'SONG 2' etc. I recommend SONG 1, if only as the least worst option (why is it that no-one decent ever tries entering?) Vote closes at 7:30pm, so get going.